Wikipedia contends that there are English words that can't be rhymed! I'll show them!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, February 16, 2009
Who Doesn't Love Valentine"s Reggae?
Posted on 6:02 AM by Unknown
Did I go in thinking the event wouldn't suck? No. I knew it would. Did I feel a need to appease friends I hadn"t seen in a while? Sure. Do trashy reggae chicks do it for me? Possible. Kyoto, for being a city of 1.5 million people, has some really second rate celebrities. One of these F-listers has had me as a guest at his last to birthday blow outs. I am sure he is appreciative. To tell the truth, compared to most reggae in Japan Yujin, the character in question is alright. While I am on the subject, compared to eating poo, drinking piss is alright. Hark, through the wonders of Youtube, I have the evidence.
Yujin:
Most Reggae in Japan:
So the first few times I saw this guy, it was a welcome change. But do I really need to celebrate his birthday? But really, this is all beating around the bush. Yujin isn't the subject of this story. Especially considering I left about 5 minutes into his set, leaving Atsuko, who you may remember is so completely my type, although I am pretty sure she doesn't feel the same way. The real story here is the god-awful act that went on before our amiable Yujin. I almost wish I could remember their name so I could scour for evidence, but not as much as I wish I could erase all memory of them. It was five guys, in five hooded garments, screaming into microphones. One was a chubby American looking like he was there to sell copy machines or work on your tractor. He looked just young enough, and just completely clueless enough to have been in the Navy. Who knows, he might be. In any case, he sucked just as bad as his Asian compatriots. The highlight of the show, for me, was when the earnest, bald, chubby, Japanese lad who seemed to scream into the microphone a little more than the others, got the full-focused freak look on in his eyes, bald head shining and declared, as forcefully as he could- and I am translating here, except for the "yo"s:
Yo yo! Yo yo! We are reggaeton!
Yo yo! We have nothing to do with reggaeton!
Yo yo! we have a slight connection with reggaeton!
Yo yo! Do you get what I am saying?!?!?!
I got that deep inside somewhere, he wanted to say something. I can go that far.
Here is where I want to start laying it down for you in ways that those jokers never could. Japanese reggae, especially the dancehall variety sucks for two very specific reasons that also infect Japanese hip-hop, among other genres.
Reason one:
The stereotype that Japan imitates is true for a reason; Japan imitates. It is especially frustrating in music as there are unique Japanese bands, but, especially on the local level, people treat the music scene as a cover band talent show. Last time out I almost had to be restrained from going after the MC because he talked about how much he loved marijuana and hated gay people. In the end I realized that he hated gay people as much as he loved marijuana, which was zero. Those just seemed to him like what he was supposed to talk about. It is really kind of pathetic when you see it in action. And everybody plays along and it goes on and on like that.
Reason two:
This is the one I wanted to touch on briefly and come back to in more detail later. This is a cross over subject in that it goes into teaching English and understanding Japanese and all other kinds of topics. Reason two is that there is no such thing as rhyming in Japanese. Not only is there no rhyming, there is a complete and total inability to understand the concept of rhyming. Kind of puts a strange twist on Japanese hip-hop does it not? Strangely, there is some great Japanese hip-hop. In fact, I include this Rhymester song in my all time top 25:
But, without the structure imposed by a rhyme scheme, something else very interesting has to be going on in the song to make it even palatable.
I think Ripslyme succeeded on that one.
But when other elements fail, what you have is just people screaming nonsense into a microphone. What you lose are true MCs rocking a microphone. Just listen to the first verse of Wu-Tang's "Fast Shadow" and listen to what goes on with the rhymes. (If you have a low ODB tolerance, just tune him out.)
In Welcome to the Terrordome, which I consider to be the greatest hip-hop song of all time, Chuck D offers the simple proposition, "Here"s your ticket, hear the drummer get wicked." How badass is that line? It is great because of what Chuck D did with the wording and the structure imposed on him by the rhyme scheme. I don't mean to demean an entire population, but how many people in Japan can even get that line? And I mean that in a very real way. Today I was doing a listening lesson with a class and I was trying to get them to fill in the blanks on a kids song. They were incredulous. How could I expect them to understand any of that nonsense? I told them that the biggest hint was that it was a song and I had only cut out the last words of every other line, so everything rhymed. This helped zero-percent. No one could grasp what was similar about the words "good" and "wood." They couldn't even understand my explanation. I shouldn't have been surprised, this has happened to me numerous times. Sometimes someone will venture a helpful, "Oh, I see. They sound similar!" No...In fact, they rhyme. Something that is so fundamental to the way we think about English is completely absent. Maybe I am overstating the case, but I feel rhyming is essential to English education, if only for helping in pronunciation. Part of the roadblock are Japanese teachers who can't grasp the concept either.
It is frustrating as both a teacher and a musician. What you get is people content with wearing a jersey and screaming "lighter!" When what you are trying to bring them is:
Ah...I feel bad that I didn't mention Verbal, who can rhyme in Japanese. Bonus to you Verbal.
Yujin:
Most Reggae in Japan:
So the first few times I saw this guy, it was a welcome change. But do I really need to celebrate his birthday? But really, this is all beating around the bush. Yujin isn't the subject of this story. Especially considering I left about 5 minutes into his set, leaving Atsuko, who you may remember is so completely my type, although I am pretty sure she doesn't feel the same way. The real story here is the god-awful act that went on before our amiable Yujin. I almost wish I could remember their name so I could scour for evidence, but not as much as I wish I could erase all memory of them. It was five guys, in five hooded garments, screaming into microphones. One was a chubby American looking like he was there to sell copy machines or work on your tractor. He looked just young enough, and just completely clueless enough to have been in the Navy. Who knows, he might be. In any case, he sucked just as bad as his Asian compatriots. The highlight of the show, for me, was when the earnest, bald, chubby, Japanese lad who seemed to scream into the microphone a little more than the others, got the full-focused freak look on in his eyes, bald head shining and declared, as forcefully as he could- and I am translating here, except for the "yo"s:
Yo yo! Yo yo! We are reggaeton!
Yo yo! We have nothing to do with reggaeton!
Yo yo! we have a slight connection with reggaeton!
Yo yo! Do you get what I am saying?!?!?!
I got that deep inside somewhere, he wanted to say something. I can go that far.
Here is where I want to start laying it down for you in ways that those jokers never could. Japanese reggae, especially the dancehall variety sucks for two very specific reasons that also infect Japanese hip-hop, among other genres.
Reason one:
The stereotype that Japan imitates is true for a reason; Japan imitates. It is especially frustrating in music as there are unique Japanese bands, but, especially on the local level, people treat the music scene as a cover band talent show. Last time out I almost had to be restrained from going after the MC because he talked about how much he loved marijuana and hated gay people. In the end I realized that he hated gay people as much as he loved marijuana, which was zero. Those just seemed to him like what he was supposed to talk about. It is really kind of pathetic when you see it in action. And everybody plays along and it goes on and on like that.
Reason two:
This is the one I wanted to touch on briefly and come back to in more detail later. This is a cross over subject in that it goes into teaching English and understanding Japanese and all other kinds of topics. Reason two is that there is no such thing as rhyming in Japanese. Not only is there no rhyming, there is a complete and total inability to understand the concept of rhyming. Kind of puts a strange twist on Japanese hip-hop does it not? Strangely, there is some great Japanese hip-hop. In fact, I include this Rhymester song in my all time top 25:
But, without the structure imposed by a rhyme scheme, something else very interesting has to be going on in the song to make it even palatable.
I think Ripslyme succeeded on that one.
But when other elements fail, what you have is just people screaming nonsense into a microphone. What you lose are true MCs rocking a microphone. Just listen to the first verse of Wu-Tang's "Fast Shadow" and listen to what goes on with the rhymes. (If you have a low ODB tolerance, just tune him out.)
In Welcome to the Terrordome, which I consider to be the greatest hip-hop song of all time, Chuck D offers the simple proposition, "Here"s your ticket, hear the drummer get wicked." How badass is that line? It is great because of what Chuck D did with the wording and the structure imposed on him by the rhyme scheme. I don't mean to demean an entire population, but how many people in Japan can even get that line? And I mean that in a very real way. Today I was doing a listening lesson with a class and I was trying to get them to fill in the blanks on a kids song. They were incredulous. How could I expect them to understand any of that nonsense? I told them that the biggest hint was that it was a song and I had only cut out the last words of every other line, so everything rhymed. This helped zero-percent. No one could grasp what was similar about the words "good" and "wood." They couldn't even understand my explanation. I shouldn't have been surprised, this has happened to me numerous times. Sometimes someone will venture a helpful, "Oh, I see. They sound similar!" No...In fact, they rhyme. Something that is so fundamental to the way we think about English is completely absent. Maybe I am overstating the case, but I feel rhyming is essential to English education, if only for helping in pronunciation. Part of the roadblock are Japanese teachers who can't grasp the concept either.
It is frustrating as both a teacher and a musician. What you get is people content with wearing a jersey and screaming "lighter!" When what you are trying to bring them is:
Ah...I feel bad that I didn't mention Verbal, who can rhyme in Japanese. Bonus to you Verbal.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Bloodsport
Posted on 7:13 AM by Unknown
Soccer's greatest blood feud continues on Wednesday in America when the USA Men's National Soccer team takes on Mexico. CNNSI has a great gallery of the 10 hottest games. My favorite would have to be Mexico getting whipped so bad in the 2002 World Cup that they lost their sanity, their captain kneeing Cobi Jones in the butthole while the president of their country cried on live national TV. I am not much for jingosim in the realm of politics, but in soccer? Suck on it Mexico! That was really funny when you chanted "Bin Laden" and threw bags of piss and batteries on our players. Now you get to go to Ohio and play in the snow. Have fun!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Anagram Generator
Posted on 10:59 PM by Unknown
My new favorite thing. My name is an anagram for Lychees Week.
School Rocks
Posted on 10:40 PM by Unknown
My Monday at school:
During morning cleaning I try to round up the 1st year girl's softball team who has been skipping lately and I could see behind the gym. I see the 3rd year boys on the steps. I usually ignore them as they only have a month left and then they are gone. However, I see Daichi, who you may remember as the captain of the basketball team and my nemesis from the long drawn out apology story, with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth leaning over to have it lit. Knowing that if I go over myself the whole story will be denied, I go back around the corner to see if I can grab Inoue sensei to go back with me. I get him and we go back around. The kids do their weak ass warning system. They drop the cigarettes amidst a cloud of smoke. Inoue yells at them to remember they are at school. Being vindictive, actually just being tired of their bullshit, I tell Daichi's homeroom teacher. Daichi insists none of this ever happened. I say that I saw what I saw. Later Daichi apologizes to me for smoking and for lying about it. Nice. I told him that I thought of him as a high school student and that smoking is his own business, just to not do it at school where the 1st years can see him.
Takuma, the 1st year shit who is getting worse and worse and his homeroom teacher come to talk to me because Takuma is claiming that I broke his thermos by throwing his bag back in December. I ask him when and what he is talking about. He proceeds to refer to in a manner that I have a hard time communicating into English. Let's just say he is excessively disrespectful. His homeroom teacher, who is the head of 1st year teachers, is being as useless as usual. I tell Takuma that he always has his bag, that he is always in trouble that I don't know exactly what he is on about but if he feels like having an actual conversation to come find me.
Chiho, who you may remember from "The Chiho Explosion" lost it. And when Chiho loses it, that shit be lost. She has the kind of stamina that marathon runners would envy. She can scream and cry for hours. Nomura, her homeroom teacher, who the students hate, told her to leave class because she was causing a ruckus. Her face turned purple and she rolled around screaming for the next 3-4 hours. Her parents were called. Her parents who were renowned for being he worst kids at the school 15 years ago. The mother complains that she didn't realize the teachers could kick kids out for class. After 3-0-40 minutes of standing there listening to Chiho scream about nothing, she grabs her by the hair and bashes her head into the wall. That was pretty much the highlight of our day.
Tuesday was exams. Makino and Taishi put their desks in the hall, ripped their tests to shreds and set amongst the garbage.
During morning cleaning I try to round up the 1st year girl's softball team who has been skipping lately and I could see behind the gym. I see the 3rd year boys on the steps. I usually ignore them as they only have a month left and then they are gone. However, I see Daichi, who you may remember as the captain of the basketball team and my nemesis from the long drawn out apology story, with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth leaning over to have it lit. Knowing that if I go over myself the whole story will be denied, I go back around the corner to see if I can grab Inoue sensei to go back with me. I get him and we go back around. The kids do their weak ass warning system. They drop the cigarettes amidst a cloud of smoke. Inoue yells at them to remember they are at school. Being vindictive, actually just being tired of their bullshit, I tell Daichi's homeroom teacher. Daichi insists none of this ever happened. I say that I saw what I saw. Later Daichi apologizes to me for smoking and for lying about it. Nice. I told him that I thought of him as a high school student and that smoking is his own business, just to not do it at school where the 1st years can see him.
Takuma, the 1st year shit who is getting worse and worse and his homeroom teacher come to talk to me because Takuma is claiming that I broke his thermos by throwing his bag back in December. I ask him when and what he is talking about. He proceeds to refer to in a manner that I have a hard time communicating into English. Let's just say he is excessively disrespectful. His homeroom teacher, who is the head of 1st year teachers, is being as useless as usual. I tell Takuma that he always has his bag, that he is always in trouble that I don't know exactly what he is on about but if he feels like having an actual conversation to come find me.
Chiho, who you may remember from "The Chiho Explosion" lost it. And when Chiho loses it, that shit be lost. She has the kind of stamina that marathon runners would envy. She can scream and cry for hours. Nomura, her homeroom teacher, who the students hate, told her to leave class because she was causing a ruckus. Her face turned purple and she rolled around screaming for the next 3-4 hours. Her parents were called. Her parents who were renowned for being he worst kids at the school 15 years ago. The mother complains that she didn't realize the teachers could kick kids out for class. After 3-0-40 minutes of standing there listening to Chiho scream about nothing, she grabs her by the hair and bashes her head into the wall. That was pretty much the highlight of our day.
Tuesday was exams. Makino and Taishi put their desks in the hall, ripped their tests to shreds and set amongst the garbage.
Feel the Crazy
Posted on 10:10 PM by Unknown
If you don't find this stuff too disturbing the nut who shot up Knoxville plead guilty and will receive life in prison had his letter of intent released. It makes me a little ill to read it for the fact that he was trying to kill several of our friends, and managing to kill someone I know's father. However, nothing in the letter is anything I haven't heard down at the Waffle House or the docks or in school. This is the kind of garbage that floats around in lots of people's minds. This garbage is stirred up by right-wing media figures who will never take responsibility for their actions. Yes, I think this guy was a lonely old man who was to desolate to commit suicide by himself. But he also had a definite political outlook that was consistent with a major current of mainstream though. I have refrained from commenting on this whole affair as I was a little too close to those involved that I felt like a bit of a vulture mentioning it. I would hate to use my inside scoop to dwell on a tragedy. Read the letter if you have the stomach for it.
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